Friday, 19 February 2010
Saints preserve us!
For starters it tells me that if I have a hangover, grazed knee, sore throat or a bit of a cough I should not dial 999 and summon an ambulance but that I should try to self care. In other words, retire to bed with plenty of fluids and some paracetamol.
However, the leaflet tells me that should I fell unwell or experience diarrhoea or vomiting then I must pick up the phone and call NHS Direct. If things should worsen, though, then the trained nurses at NHS Direct should be dumped in favour of my local pharmacist who can handle my back ache, runny nose, painful cough or headache. Are you with me so far? Now, should I discover any lumps, bumps, constant aches and pains then I'm told it might be advisable for me to toddle off to my GP.
So far so good... but if I were to cut myself, strain a muscle, get and itch or sprain an ankle then I need to hotfoot it to an NHS Walk-in Centre or an MIU (that's a Minor Injury Unit, apparently). Finally, if I choke, develop chest pains, black out or lose a significant quantity of blood then I have the NHS's blessing to call and ambulance or proceed directly to my local casualty/A&E unit.
I don't know what makes me angrier... the waste of time, money, paper and ink on this sort of nannying shite or the fact that such a leaflet may actually be necessary because a few window lickers choose to call an ambulance every time they sneeze or get an itch. On second thoughts, my leaflet says I need to go to the Walk-in Centre for one of those.